thinking

There are somethings that i shouldn't think about.
But they just came appear in my mind.

I want it all,
but it would never turn out right.

What am i thinking?
There are loads of question and curiosities linger in me.

This is a one huge regret that i would face a whole lifetime.

I desire it all more than anything.
But is it right to even think about it?

Its an all new sensation that i'd never felt before.
But its so tangible that i almost slip my mind into it.
When it happened,
i'd felt my soul leaving apart my body.
Its so untrue, so unreal...

With my thinking buds off like a stray cloud,
maybe i should rewind the thoughts
which have been wheeling inside me for long.

Everybody says I am still a kid.
There are things could happen beyond our grasps,
so we shouldn't think too much,
or else it would drive us mad.

I am abnormal,
I admit that.
With all the things i am doing,
thinking about the principles and consequences is a must to me.
I analyse and reanalyse everything that turn out.
And people said,
it makes me die faster than ever.

I have distanced myself from my own rules and perspectives.
I should have determind to what i want,
what i desire,
what i crave for,
what i wish to pursue...
I have created my own brand of philosophy,
but now it seems to be very brittle and fragile
to stand against my thoughts recently.

I should pray more often.
This is what i can do while keeping me confuse.

..............................................................................................................................

I love my baby more than anything,
apart from my family.
If everything comes out from my mouth is a lie,
then this will be the only truth you'd heard from me.